Warm Letters
by harunousakura
Summary: Naruto and Sakura are in their senior year of high school, applying for colleges. Naruto makes a decision about achieving his childhood dream of exploring the world, while Sakura's life is turned upside by the arrival of one letter to her home. Together and apart, Naruto and Sakura will face reality as individuals, and as the "best friends" that they are. Eventual NaruSaku.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey guys! So obviously, this is a NaruSaku fic, as I currently don't know how to write other ships. Well, this is the one I'm most comfortable with anyway :) Don't know how long this'll be, but definitely multi-chapter. I'll try to be generous with this one, but there are no promises. **_

_**Hope you guys like it!**_

_"i always wonder_  
_if there is a place_  
_inside of you_  
_where i am kept_  
_safe, where i am_  
_a place you go_  
_when you need _  
_comfort"_

_- What am I to you?_

* * *

If I was an element, I'd be the wind or even the water. I can be calm, and I can be soothing. Once I am built up, I can hurt those around me. I can cause grief and sadness, but I am just as necessary.

This is what I have been told multiple times by teachers, by friends, by family members.

"Sakura-chan!"

I turned my head to the side, seeing the blond-haired boy with the sky blue eyes, running towards me, a grin on his face.

This is my best friend. We have been friends since God knows how long, and I have never seen his eyes _not _dance whenever he sees me. It was almost as if seeing me made his day better, no matter what had happened to him.

"Wanna get some lunch?" I asked as he came closer.

"Sure! How about some ramen?"

"You've had that for the past week, Naruto. It's not healthy," I sighed.

"But it's ramen. It's my favorite food."

"I know, but you need to find other favorite foods. Seriously."

He pouted. "Sakura-chan, it's like you and your love for sweet food. You can't stay away from it."

"That's a bad analogy, because I know when to cut down on my favorite food, because I know how _unhealthy_ it can be."

"Fine. What do you want to eat?"

I thought for a second, looking around me, the stores in front of us not appealing to my hungry stomach. I gritted my teeth, and let out a harsh breath through my nose.

"Why don't we go to my house? My mom's probably made something anyway."

"We went there all the time two weeks ago."

"That was two weeks ago. My mom likes you, Naruto. She says you're charming," I scoffed just then, thinking that my mother obviously didn't know Naruto very well.

"Then let's go! She probably grilled some meat!"

"I could've sworn she said this morning she'd be home," I sigh at the empty living room.

"That's okay. We'll just see if there's anything we can quickly heat up," Naruto says, rummaging through the drawers of my refrigerator.

"Sure thing. I'll make some tea."

"Nah, that's okay. Water's fine," he says as he waves his hand towards me.

I clucked my tongue as I grabbed my bag, dragging my feet to my bedroom. The only thing I didn't like about coming back home for lunch was that I would always be too lazy to go back to school. I never told Naruto this, though, because he'd jump at the opportunity at skipping class. Of course, I always encouraged him to pay attention to his classes more, then maybe he wouldn't feel inclined to skip at each opportunity he'd get. I sat on the edge of my bed, slipping off my socks as I looked around my room. It was fairly neat, compared to how I usually left it. Not that it was ever messy, but it appeared that someone had entered my room, and cleaned some more.

For starters, my pillows were out of place. So my mother did do the house chores, and _then_ she left.

"Sakura-chan, the food's ready!"

"Okay, sure."

I grabbed the two water bottles from my school bag, before setting foot outside. Naruto was already sitting at my dining table, his eyes closed, his two hands pressed against each other, making him appear as though he was praying. I silently watched, as I hardly got to see Naruto so content anymore. He was always jumping all over the place with his eyes and his words. I wondered if anything was bothering him. I leaned my head against the wall, a tiny smile on my face.

_He's kind of cute._

His eyes opened suddenly, fixing on me.

"Let's eat! We have about 45 minutes until the next class," he says cheerfully.

I take my place next to him, placing my hands in a prayer motion.

"いただきます！" we say in unison.

The food was warm in my mouth, and it eased my nerves quite a bit. The stress came from school, clearly. I couldn't run away from it, though. It was our final year, after all. I hummed as I chewed on the soft food, my stomach coming alive, the taste not that great, but not half-bad either. I averted my eyes slightly to the side, to see Naruto looking at me.

"Something the matter?"

"Nah, you just seemed kind of.. on edge, lately," he shrugged.

"That's because of school."

"I know."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Seemed like there was something else, too."

I chewed my food tentatively at this, my brow furrowing. Of course he'd notice.

"It's just college applications and stuff. Not a big deal - just a lot of writing!" I smiled at him.

I didn't know if he believed me, but he let out a soft breath, before resuming his lunch, although eating slower than usual. _You're not the only one who can detect when your best friend is uneasy_, I thought to myself.

I watched my best friend finish his meal before I went to grab our school bags.

I was on my way to the girls' restroom, when I bumped into Sasuke. I groaned in my head, but my annoyance was probably written all over my face.

"Sakura, haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, what's up?"

"College stuff, of course. How have you been?"

"All right. Like you said, college stuff."

I didn't think anyone was as civilized as I was with an ex-boyfriend. I didn't see the point in staying angry at people, though. I was never that type, and I never will be. It didn't seem worth wasting my energy over that kind of thing, either.

"How have you been holding up?" he asks.

My eyes hardened, glaring at him.

"Do I need to remind that you that _I _was the one that broke up with _you_?"

"Do you regret it?"

"Why would I?"

"We were good together."

"By the words of?"

"Me."

I snorted, my irritation becoming more apparent.

"It didn't work out, okay? Stop pestering me, asking me if I regret it. Relationships start, people grow apart, and relationships end. That's how it works in high school."

"You've gotten a little rough around the edges ever since you broke up with me," I could've sworn I saw the slightest hint of a smirk at the side of his lips.

I did not answer. Instead, I glared at him, while trying not to appear too hostile. Teachers would know immediately anyway, if I started to scream.

"_You cheated on me._" I spat out quietly, growling.

"I was drunk."

"Do you think that matters?"

"I wasn't in the right frame of mind. Of course it matters."

I was fuming.

"No, it doesn't. If you really cared about me, you would've said no to her."

"It's not like she was your friend."

"That doesn't matter either."

His cool eyes stared back at me, his expression emotionless.

"Did you run to him that night?"

My eyes softened just the slightest bit, and I tried hard to keep my composure. After not answering his question, he reiterated.

"Did you run to Naruto that night?"

"Why does that matter to you? Everyone runs to their best friend when they're upset," I replied coolly.

His jaw visibly hardens, and I want to laugh. _He was jealous._

His eyes bore into mine, some kind of heat emitting from him. Why was he so angry? Naruto had never done anything to him, aside from be a good friend. He was the one that decided to throw us away. He wanted to be part of _that_ group, the one that drinks and parties and hooks up with people all the time. Naruto and I were the only ones who knew what he used to be like.

We didn't even care to tell other people who he really was.

"I did run to him that night. He was your best friend, too."

Sasuke, at this point, looked down. He didn't like being reminded that Naruto was his best friend. He didn't mind being reminded that he and I dated, but he certainly hated that Naruto was in fact, his best friend.

"Don't talk to me again, please. I'd like to move on with my life. You should, too."

I walked back to the classroom, deciding I'd run to the restroom later. I slowly closed the door behind me, and took my place in the middle of the room, next to Naruto. His head was down, on the table, facing the window. I didn't know if he was asleep, but I grabbed my pencil and poked his shoulder slightly. His face turned towards me, his eyes droopy.

I pointed to the blackboard, where our teacher was writing notes. Naruto rolled his eyes, and sat up. He ripped a tiny sheet of paper from his notebook, and wrote something on it, before handing it to me.

_Do you want to get ice cream later?_ it read.

I scribbled a reply saying yes, and handed it back to him. He nodded, his face complacent. I looked at him questioningly, and he proceeded to write again on the paper.

_You finally saying yes to hanging out after school means you're feeling strained._

I couldn't help but grin; he knew me too well.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hello! so this is the second chapter and I've been trying to decide if I wanted something intense to happen every single chapter, and I've decided I don't! :p So this might actually go on for a while, and I will absolutely try to update every weekend :) this chapter obviously failed, but I was away and we had shit internet. so this might actually be kind of bad. also, exams are coming up so that might be delayed as well. but i really do think i can go somewhere with this story. thank you for reading (so far)! xo Qistina**_

* * *

It was raining by the end of the school day, and by raining, I don't mean droplets of water that touched the window. It was raining so much that little puddles were being formed on the cement downstairs. I could see all this from the window next to where Naruto sat. He would sigh every now and then, obviously disappointed that we couldn't get some ice cream.

"There's always another day," I say softly, as everyone else filed out of the room at the 3:15 mark.

"That's not the point. I really wanted to get ice cream."

I didn't answer him, instead looking out the window again. From the window's reflection, I could see Naruto's pouting face, clearly disappointed he wouldn't get what he wanted.

"Why don't we just run in the rain?" I suggested.

"Sakura-chan, it is literally pouring outside. We'd get sick."

"But your ice cream."

"No one eats ice cream in the cold, anyway."

"Come on, Naruto! And anyway, why is it raining when it's autumn?"

"It's only the end of summer. It's only just starting to get cold. Plus, we live in an area that is really bipolar when it comes to the weather."

I couldn't argue with that. I sighed, and looked out the window once more. The rain did seem to dissipate a little (compared to thirty seconds ago). I cocked my head to the side, pondering how I'd convince Naruto that we could, in fact, get some ice cream. I felt childish, trying so hard to get some ice cream. Then again, I've always been childish and selfish when it came to Naruto. Maybe he was rubbing off on me from the start, and I just never noticed it.

"Hey, Naruto –" I whirled around and almost fell backwards, as Naruto's face was just inches from mine, his eyes shining. My heart thundered in my chest from the shock, and I exhaled harsly.

"Naruto! Watch it!"

"What is it, Sakura-chan?"

"There's less rain, now. We should go get ice cream while we can!"

"I don't know.."

I grabbed him by the wrist as I sighed, and we walked out of the room. Naruto started talking about how cold it was outside and how I wouldn't be able to handle it, even with my scarf on. I ignored him, and began humming a melody that I knew from when I was a child. I could hear him chuckling behind me, but I ignored that, too.

Graduation was coming closer, much too fast.

* * *

I licked the corners of the cone I was holding between my fingers as I listened to Naruto tell his crude jokes. His face was glowing from all the laughing he was doing, and I had never seen a light touch his eyes quite the way it did at that moment. I smiled.

"Funny, right?!"

"What?"

"You were smiling because I told that joke!"

"Oh. Uh, yeah, hilarious!" I say, grinning. His warm eyes looked at my face, and then sighed.

"You could at least _pretend_ to laugh," he says as he sits beside me.

"Where's the fun in that?" I nudge him with my elbow.

Naruto sighed, and continued to nibble at his cone, his face scrunched - an indication that he was deep in thought. I watched him from the corner of my eye, feeling content. Yet, somehow, I felt as though I was missing something. Maybe it was blatantly obvious, and he was just waiting for me to say something.

"Sakura-chan," he whispers.

"Hmm?"

"I'm falling behind in my classes."

"I know."

"I'm always falling asleep in class."

"I know."

"I tried to steal your notes."

"I know," I replied, even though I didn't know that. When had he gotten the chance to look through my school bag? Maybe all those times he insisted on holding my bag while I went to the restroom at the train station was when he took opportunities.

"My parents wouldn't be proud."

I froze. Whenever Naruto and I talked about the bigger things in life, he never usually brought up his parents so casually. They had died a few years ago, back in middle school, when Naruto still needed the love of his parents to reassure that he was on the right path. He was deprived of the final transition from being an immature boy to a boy who was innately immature, but knew when to stop. It was, most certainly, a sensitive topic that I did not want to force on him. Despite the smiles and the laughs that he displays in front of people when they talk about "ditching their parents" for a party, I knew that deep down, Naruto missed them with all of his being.

Particularly his mother, who, everyone knew, without a doubt, loved him more than he could understand.

"You can't say they wouldn't be. They could be looking down at you right now, and crying tears of joy at the bundle of joy that turned out to be their son," I said softly. His eyes turned to look at me, scrutinize me.

"No one is proud of a bundle of joy."

"Your parents would be."

"You don't know that."

"You try hard."

"No, I don't."

"I don't mean in classes. I mean as a person. You try hard." I hardened the look on my face to emphasize how much I meant what I was saying. If there was one thing about Naruto that helped me feel more of a useful best friend, it was this side of him. Whenever he was doubting himself, I was always there to catch him before his head hit the floor, before his heart shattered into millions of pieces that were unable to be put back together.

"You think so?"

"I think I know my best friend well enough," I grinned, softly punching his shoulder. He smiled, before averting his eyes to the floor. He twiddled with his thumbs, his face still showing signs of trouble in the creases around his mouth.

"What about you, Sakura-chan?"

I stared at him questioningly. As far as I knew, I wasn't doubting what I was doing with my life in order to get into college. I thought everything was going fine. Wasn't it?

"What about me?"

"Lately you've just been different. I don't know if it's because of college applications, or if it's because you're not getting enough sleep. Are you all right?"

I continued to stare at him, dumbfounded. _He saw right through me._

"Uh, yeah. It's just everything at once, you know? My parents aren't... being much help, either. They're not being supportive. I don't get enough sleep, because, well. Believe it or not, I procrastinate."

He feigns a gasp. The corners of my lips twitch, and I grin a little.

"I just.. I just want to rest. I'm so tired all the time," I sigh.

There was a beat of silence before he answered.

"Your birthday is coming up," he says softly.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Are you going anywhere?"

"Not that I know of."

"How about we go to Disneyland?"

"What?!"

"Come on, you're turning 18! Gotta be a kid one final time, ya know," he grins his wide grin, and it reaches his eyes.

"Can we do something else apart from Disneyland?" I laugh.

"What do you want to do?"

I thought for a second. Despite the many girls that I was friends with who took an interest in things like amusement parks, those things made me tired and drained. I considered doing this for Naruto, since he was kind enough to think of taking me there. But if I wasn't going to enjoy it to the best of my potential, why would I go? Naruto hated when people pitied him in general; he would loathe me if I pitied him, too.

"Why don't we just go watch a movie that comes out that weekend, and then we hang out?"

He exhaled and pondered it for about five seconds before giving me his answer.

"Sounds like a plan!"

* * *

It was almost dusk when Naruto and I were walking in the streets on the way back. Mothers were taking walks with their babies in their strollers, cooing at the world before them. I smiled at a few of them, and they giggled.

"You like kids so much. I always thought that was an unlikely characteristic for you," Naruto chuckled.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're always so stoic. I didn't know children could tug at your heart strings," he smiled at me.

My heart thumped in my chest. _You do that for me, too._

It was silent for a few more minutes as we perused through the streets, taking in the sight of the people around us. Some were rushing home, and some were going out for dinner. We didn't see anyone we knew.

"Where are you applying for college?" he asks, suddenly.

"Probably here. My mom will go nuts if I apply outside of town. What about you?"

He was silent, and from the corner of my eye, it looked as though he was chewing his lip. Was he scared of something?

"Sakura-chan.. I got offered to go to a college."

"That's great! I told you that you didn't need to doubt yourself so much!" I say, genuinely happy for him. But I saw the worry lines on his forehead, the panic in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask cautiously.

His eyes were pools of sadness and regret. I felt my heart race, its pace abnormal for me. I had panicked before, but this was a different kind of panic. Did he reject it? Was it too expensive?

"I'm... having a slight problem. Deciding if I want to go or not," he says slowly, his voice low. We are in the middle of the road, and the sun is just setting. I stare at his face. _What is going on?_

"Okay.. um. What's holding you back?"

He pauses, and his eyes seem to be radiating a kind of heat. He chews his bottom lip, and every few seconds, he would look to the floor beneath us. His hands were in his pockets, probably because he didn't know what to do with them. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times, and I am on edge.

"It's 3472km away from home," he whispers.

I blink, my heart becoming slower in its pulse. What was I supposed to think of this? On one hand, I was absolutely thrilled that he was offered to go to a college, even though it was a little bit suspicious that he got offered at all. It was harsh, but even Naruto said that his grades weren't the best. On the other hand, he is my best friend. I trusted him with everything, and he knows this. He trusted _me_ with everything. To be away from my best friend was the last thing I wanted. We wouldn't get to hang out everyday anymore, and I wouldn't be able to yell at him for eating ramen everyday anymore. I took a deep breath, as I watched his eyes. His blue, warm eyes. I smiled, but anticipation was stabbing my heart.

"I will support whatever you choose. You're my best friend, after all," I grin as I give him a hug.

He seemed stunned at first, only slowly wrapping his arms around me after a few seconds. Even then, his arms around me were loose.

I wanted to cry. Naruto, although never explicitly said it, wanted to get away from home. He wanted to explore the world, and learn new things. That was who he was. Anyone would support him - his parents up in Heaven supported him, of course. He had people he loved, of course, and he always took them into consideration. But at the same time, he wouldn't give up his dreams just because someone he loved didn't want him to achieve that dream.

If they really loved him, they'd encourage him to chase after it.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan," he sighed as he hugged me.

I don't remember the rest of the walk home, but I do remember saying goodbye at the door, and watching him walk down the hill, further and further away from me. I clutched at my heart before closing the door, and sauntering up to my room.

I reached under my bed, and pulled out an old shoe box. It was torn at the edges, the cardboard finally giving in to the harsh whips of time. I slowly removed the lid, and stared at all the different colored papers before me.

_"Make sure you eat!"_

_"Did you get enough sleep? You look tired."_

_"I got a good grade on that math test! Thanks for tutoring me!"_

_"Entertain me. I am falling asleep."_

_"I'll make you some hot chocolate later, if you want?"_

I smiled at these little notes he left for me, back when we were just beginning to be friends. I reached to the bottom of the shoe box, and pulled out the one I wanted to read the most. It wasn't a heartfelt note. It had no symbolism or metaphors or any literary or poetic devices that made our friendship that much more precious, though it certainly was. I smiled, then felt the tears pool in my eyes.

_Get a grip, Sakura. He hasn't even decided to leave yet._

I wiped away the almost-trickling tears from my eyes, and read the note before me. It made me happy to know that certain things did not stop making you happy, no matter how much time you are given to grow out of it. I felt my sad heart being sewn a fraction of an inch as I read the tiny paper in my hand. I read through more of the older ones he gave me, reading them three, four, five times, and reshuffling the sheets in my hand, picking a random one to re-read. I don't know how long I did this for, but I had assumed that slumber eventually coursed through my veins. That's one of the reasons people don't remember falling asleep happy or sad. It just happens. I dreamt of Naruto's face that night, his smiles, his laughs, his angry faces, his scared faces. His eyes were as blue as the ocean on a summer day, glimmering with light.

Without a doubt, Naruto was someone very important to me. I did not want him to leave. But, if it was what made him happy, who was I to stop him?

_Hi, I'm Naruto. I don't mean to sound nosy, but,  
are you Mr. Haruno's daughter? My dad was friends with your dad,  
and I thought we could be friends too! My favorite food is ramen,  
what's yours?_


	3. Chapter 3

**hello everyoneeee! i've missed you all :3 so sorry this is really late, but i was away for a bit at the beach and for a bit i wasn't sure how to approach this chapter. since i really want to focus on this fic, i think i will take my time to develop both Naruto and Sakura in different ways. many things are planned for them, so please, stay tuned! - Kiki (my new nickname ahaha) note: yakiniku means fried meat, like BBQ place!**

* * *

It had been three weeks since Naruto last brought up the college he'd been offered to go to. I wasn't sure if I should've been relieved, or even more worried than I was before. We still walked to class everyday, we still had breakfast together, lunch together, sometimes even dinner together. We were both pretending there wasn't a bigger issue at hand. As hard as it was to admit, Naruto started to talk to me less. By talk, I don't mean the simple conversations we always had - he never told me what he was thinking anymore.

It disturbed me to think that he felt as though he couldn't share how he felt, simply because he was afraid to hurt me, along with anyone else it concerned. Though, personally, I didn't think it concerned me; I felt selfish saying that Naruto had every right to tell me if he was leaving.

I tried my best to be the friend that he needed at this critical point in his life; to leave home and have new adventures, or to stay within the confines of the village, so that he would stay safe and sound, with everyone who loved him. I honestly doubted that he was considering the latter. As a child, Naruto always said he wanted to explore the world. He wanted to see different places, meet different people, taste new food (that was always on his list), and maybe someday, live where he had never lived before.

A child that expresses such dreams never really allow those dreams to disappear as they grow up. Naruto always got post cards from his parents whenever they left the country for work, before they passed away. He'd gotten them from countries we'd never heard of, countries that we _had_ heard of, and countries that we thought had perished along with the history of past wars. They always fascinated him: the different languages, the landscapes, the people's faces, the different texture of each post card. I always thought he looked best this way; hopeful, dreaming, yearning.

I had never felt the necessity to fulfil a dream.

Naruto still stopped by my house on weekends, even if he was on his way to somewhere else in town. We'd talk, and he'd attempt to make me smile. It always worked, of course, but partially because I didn't want him to feel as though he was obligated to stay with me, to keep me smiling.

Though, deep down, that was precisely what I wanted.

I kept waiting for Naruto to tell me whether he was planning on leaving, but it was apparent that he was avoiding the topic at hand, at whatever the cost. I could only sit idly by, and watch. I tried to convince myself I had no say in what his choice was, but a tiny part of my heart hoped that anything I said would have an effect on him.

"Sakura-chan?"

"Hm?"

"You seem distracted. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just contemplating my life."

"What? Why?"

"Well, college is coming up." I had been hoping that if I brought up the topic of college, he might have an outburst and say, 'Oh yeah! By the way, I meant to tell you, I am/am not staying here with you for college! I've decided to go/not to go to that college where I got offered to be a student!'

Of course, such things only ever work when the odds are in your favor.

Naruto fell silent, and the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears. I felt nauseous. It couldn't be a good sign if he was keeping quiet, right? I watched his face from the corner of my eye, and he only moved a fraction of a centimeter to rub the bridge of his nose.

"Why are you so anxious over college?" He finally muttered.

"Because it's a new experience! I'll be all grown up. A lot of the things I love won't stay the things I love. I feel that way, anyway." I said all this carefully, slowly, calculating Naruto's subtle reactions. His hand twitched just slightly, as he restrained it from running it through his hair. He always did that whenever he was distressed.

"But you're Sakura-chan! There's no way you won't adjust!" he says, his smile bright, and honestly, even a little bit forced.

"Adjust...? Not everyone adjusts well, Naruto."

"I know, but you've adapted to so much, I have no doubt that you'll be fine in college!"

"What if I don't want to adapt?"

His eyes widened at that.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I decide I want to hold on to what I have here, where it belongs, instead of adapting to new things that I might not love as much?"

Naruto was silent, his eyes full of a sadness that disappeared far too quickly, before I could understand why he looked so upset. He hummed with his nose, as he scratched the back of his head. He appeared to really be thinking of a proper answer.

"The things that you love now will usually stay the things you love forever."

"How do you know?" I asked, my heart beat gaining pace.

"Because you have faith in yourself, and you know how to remind yourself that what you love, makes up who you are," he says, his smile gentle. His eyes, however, displayed a completely different emotion. I only stared at him, suddenly feeling angry at myself for expecting he'd give me an answer. I didn't want to ask, in case that would probe him to make his decision. What if that decision was that he wanted to leave?

"You'll be fine, you know." He says.

"Maybe after a while.. definitely not immediately."

"Don't doubt yourself so much, Sakura-chan. It's you - you can overcome anything."

* * *

Ever since that day, Naruto and I spoke to each other less and less, only sending the occasional text message or email once a week - twice, at most. The strange part was that I didn't feel him drifting away. Perhaps it was me in denial, but I was sure that we simply (somehow, without communication) decided that we needed time away from each other. Best friends didn't usually need that, but for whatever reason we both had, we simply didn't have the heart to be like we used to be, particularly with the stress of college.

I knew that Naruto cared for me, and I was positive he knew I cared about him, as well. No one could look at us and say we didn't care. The truth was, of course we did - and we still do, too.

The situation just happened to be more difficult than we'd anticipated. Despite the fact that best friends told each other everything, I didn't feel it was my place to hold Naruto back from achieving what he wanted to achieve. As a best friend, my job was to support him, even if I didn't like what he was doing.

"Sakura!" I heard Ino calling, a few meters behind me.

"Ino! Long time no see!"

"Yeah, been busy with applications, you know. How are yours going?"

"I've sent them all off! Thank god, too, I was getting really sick of repeating the same thing over and over again, in my college essays. It should be fine!" I say as I smile.

"That's good! I'm sure you'll get into your second choice, if not your first!"

"Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sure that when you're done, it'll be the same for you, too."

Ino grins, before looking around.

"Say, Sakura. We haven't caught up in a while. What do you say we have dinner tonight, and we can talk about everything?! Just like old times!" Ino beamed at me, her blue eyes practically begging. I groaned.

"You could just _ask_, Ino! You have no need for the puppy dog eyes. You know I can't resist them."

"Great! I'll come and get you at 7PM okay?" she says, as she runs off towards her house, waving.

I sighed as I walked towards the direction of my home, thinking of what I could possibly talk to Ino about. I guess I _could_ tell her that I was worried about Naruto and his decision. Knowing Ino, though, she'd tell me to do what I felt was right - which at this point, was not the 'right' thing to do. As I contemplated all the 'interesting' things I could talk about at dinner, I saw a postman walk up the stairs to our home on the hill, and my curiosity peaked. My pace quickened, and I was almost sprinting to get to him.

"H-Hi!" I say, panting, with the palms of my hands on my kneecaps.

"Hello. Uh. Is there a Haruno Sakura-san living here?"

"Uh, yes! That's me!" I say, trying to smile, while simultaneously trying to ignore the prick in my side from the sudden running.

"I have this for you," he says, revealing three A3-sized white envelopes, with my name and address written on each. I looked at where the senders came from, and saw that it all came from the colleges I had applied to. Living where we were, three was the minimum amount of colleges that one could apply to. It was an absurd way of keeping tabs on the students, but in some ways it helped - no one had to cramp their wrist from writing too many college essays.

"College acceptances?!" I beamed at the postman.

"Uh, I don't know. But here you go. Enjoy the news, if it is college acceptances!" he smiles as he salutes, and walks down the stairs, walking towards our neighbor's house to deliver their mail.

"Mom! Dad! I have three big envelopes from the colleges I applied to!" I yelled at as I entered the house, taking off my shoes hastily.

"Well, what're you waiting?! Open them!" My dad says as he puts down his newspaper.

I did a little jig as I opened each envelope and sat down. My parents waited in anticipation, their eyes so full of hope. I could feel my heart soar into the sky, and I almost forgot that Naruto and I were not exactly speaking everyday anymore. He was right; I had nothing to be worried about, except for the fact that the colleges I applied to might be outside of town, away from home.

* * *

One of the things that school does not prepare you for is how to deal with self-disappointment. I sat on the leather couch, with my heart in my stomach, my parents' eyes gentle and consoling. I stared at the words I never thought I'd see, my heart crumbling to pieces, tears welling in my eyes. I had never felt so _unlucky_. Despite the acceptance letters, there was another sheet of paper that, each time I looked at it, I felt as though pieces of myself broke off more and more.

Dear Haruno Sakura-san,

We are sorry to inform that your request for a scholarship has not been granted.

"I don't.. understand." I whisper.

"Sakura, it's all right to be upset."

"I don't.. I don't understand _anything._ Why is this happening?!"

"Honey, calm down."

"They denied my request?! Why? I worked so hard, and yet.."

"Sweetheart, it's okay! It's all right, you don't _need_ to go to college. That's not your only way of being able to get a job," my dad says softly.

"I _wanted_ to go to college! I wanted to experience new things, and be scared of experiencing new things! I wanted a degree, dammit!"

"Sakura, it's not that bad."

"_Mom, all of my scholarship requests were denied."_

"We know."

"How are you so _calm_?! I can't go to college! I can't learn anything! I can't get a stable job, because I have absolutely _no way_ of paying!"

"Sakura -"

"_I am a failure!_"

I felt my body crumble into itself slowly, all the broken parts of me colliding with the almost-whole parts of me, creating a junkyard of parts of a once-standing building known as Haruno Sakura. All the ruins of me lay at my feet, and I was nothing but a hollow shell. I felt fear creep into my head, and I held my face as I sobbed.

"Sakura.."

My parents wrapped their arms around me, holding me in between them tightly, allowing me to scream and wail as they reminded me with their kisses and their words that I had every reason to be as upset as I was. Growing up, my parents weren't usually the type to console me when I was upset. This was one of the rare times that they did, and I felt a sense of gratitude that I had parents that could reason when I couldn't.

I left the safety of their arms, retreating to my room to get ready for my dinner with Ino that night. I loitered around my room, laying on the bed, rubbing my head as I checked my drawers for a skirt to wear, blowing my nose to chase away the tell-tale sign of crying: the red nose. I (unwillingly) got dressed in a dark blue dress, one that my mom gave to me because she couldn't fit it anymore. I didn't feel like perking up, especially after the awful news I received just fifteen minutes ago.

I felt myself cringe, but from my drawer, I retrieved a blank sheet of lined paper, and a black pen. Whenever we were feeling especially useless and hopeless, we wrote letters to each other - Naruto to me, me to Naruto.

_Naruto,  
My requests for a scholarship wasn't granted. I know you said not to worry. But I think this is what happens when you worry too little. I am very upset. I feel like such a failure. I can't do anything right - the outcome is always something that makes me disappointed in myself. I expected so much out of me, and yet, here I am, writing a letter to you about how those expectations weren't met._

A knock came on the door.

"Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"It's your dad, can you open up?"

Dad? My dad never wanted to have serious talks with me; he was always the goofier parent. My mom was always the one lecturing me, giving me advice. My dad just wanted to see me roll my eyes and smile at his jokes.

"Uh, yeah. Come in, it's not locked."

My dad's face appeared in the doorway, and I had never seen his eyes so filled with remorse. I felt the tears in my eyes well up at the sight.

"Sakura.. I know how much you wanted to go to college."

"It's okay, Dad. I'll get over it."

"But I don't want you to get over it before you hear what I have to say."

I looked at my dad's face, and felt my heart break even more. I didn't know what he was going to say, but the fact that my dad wasn't making jokes was _definitely_ saying something about how serious he found this situation. It was serious, after all. I just always expected my dad to look on the brighter side of things like this.

"You need to know, Sakura. Just because you're not going to college doesn't mean you're a failure."

"It does in my book."

"Your book is too harsh on you."

"No, it's not. I worked so hard, I studied all the time. I cut off all ties with almost all of my friends! Everyone, including myself, had expectations of me! I was supposed to -"

"Never mind what you were supposed to be. I used to want to be a farmer!"

"...That's really low, Dad."

"No, really! Those were the types of jobs they had back then. I loved working on the farm - I didn't see myself doing anything but, for a living!"

I listened in silence, and waited (grudgingly) at what he wanted to say next.

"My point is; you can't set a goal like this in stone. Maybe, if your scholarship request was granted and you got to go to one of those expensive colleges, you would've forgotten about family, or other people that are important to you, that you consider to be _like_ your family. I'm not saying the unapproved scholarships were a good thing, but maybe, this is just another thing for you to overcome."

"Like a hurdle?" I say dryly, attempting to imitate my dad when he's trying to be funny.

"Exactly. Like a hurdle. This is a hurdle that only a few people can jump over, and you, my daughter, are one of them."

"Dad.."

"My point is. No matter where you end up, no matter what job you get, no matter how much you're paid, no matter how much people _talk_ about you, no matter who you marry, and no matter who you end up being, your mom and I will always love you. We are proud of you, Sakura, and we are so _thankful_ that you are our daughter. We don't need you to be defined as worthy or not, by whether you're granted a scholarship."

Fresh tears began to stream down my face, and my dad moved to encircle me in his embrace. He repeated 'It will be okay,' over and over, and I had never felt more supported.

* * *

"Well, I'm off."

"Take care! And tell Ino we say hi to her parents!"

"Yeah, will do!"

I slowly walked down the streets of the village, smiling at people I knew, saying hello to those I had never spoken to before. I held my letter for Naruto in my purse, with the intention of dropping it in his mailbox later, if he wasn't home. If he _was_ home, then I'd have no choice but to give it to him by hand. Why was I dreading seeing Naruto as much as I did? I had never felt so inclined to stay away from Naruto before, but after our talk about my college worries, I cracked.

I showed up to his house a couple of days later, and saw that he had just woken up. His eyes immediately danced, though, the moment he saw me.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Hey, sleepyhead. Can I come in?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Make yourself comfortable, I'm gonna go brush my teeth."

"Wait, Naruto. I.. I really think this is important. You can brush your teeth while I talk!" I said, without thinking.

"Are you catching a fever or something?"

"What? No, I just really need to talk. Please."

Naruto shrugged that day, and simply grabbed his toothbrush, readying himself to put toothpaste on it. His eyes never left me, though.

"It's okay, Naruto. You can put on the toothpaste first."

It only took him two minutes to hastily brush his teeth, and come sit with me in his room.

"Sorry. Didn't feel comfortable talking with you with a toothbrush in my mouth."

"That's all right. I'm sorry I'm being hasty."

"So, what'd you wanna talk about?"

"I wanted to ask you... about that college that offered you an enrolment."

"Okay. What about it?"

"Have you.. Do you.. How's that going?" I sighed.

"Uh, well, obviously, I haven't really made my decision yet."

"Well, why not?"

"Well. Here is home. I'd be moving pretty far away from here if I decided to go. Everything here is my home, I'm not sure I wanna leave it."

"But you always wanted to get out when you were a kid," I say softly, already feeling my heart breaking at the fact that he was giving up something he'd wanted to achieve.

"That's true. I don't know, there's nothing that's really pushing me to go, but there's nothing that's pushing me to stay, either."

I stayed silent at that, wondering what went through Naruto's head when he was trying to make this decision. It was certainly difficult - that much, I wasn't going to deny. The fact of the matter was that he wasn't leaning towards any answer, and I was worried that he wasn't choosing because of an external factor.

"Is there someone that you don't wanna leave?"

"What?"

"Obviously, you're not gonna give up a long-time dream just because you're gonna miss home. I know you better than that, Naruto. You know you can always come back here - it'll always be waiting for you."

"What're you trying to say, Sakura-chan?"

I froze just then, realizing what I was saying to him. It didn't occur to me that I valued Naruto's happiness over my own - I was never this selfless. Everything I did was for me, and I hardly considered other people. There were times when I would console myself, and tell myself to do something for someone else. But this was an entirely different scenario.

"I'm saying.. choose what you want, okay? And.. tell me when you've chosen."

"Of course I will, Sakura-chan. Why wouldn't I tell you?"

I gave him a soft smile. "You might chicken out at the last opportunity."

* * *

"Sakura!" I turned around to see Ino waving for my attention in front of our old favorite yakiniku* shop. Her cheeks were red, and she was smiling nonstop. I beamed back at her as I headed towards her direction. She was giggling, and I noticed something was off. When I got closer to her, I examined her closely. _She's certainly not drunk_, I thought to myself.

"You made it!"

"It's not all the time that you're free, Ino."

"That's true."

"Say, why are you blushing? I thought you were drunk, but, obviously you're not. You're still speaking coherently."

Ino rolled her eyes. "I was with Shikamaru."

"And?"

"And what? We... you know."

"Oh, _gross._ I don't want to know, okay? We're about to have some yakiniku, so let's enjoy the evening!"

Our table was near one of the windows with the view of the village from the third floor. The village lights flashed, and citizens were taking strolls with their loved ones, enjoying the weather, probably. I played a game with myself, to see if I knew anyone that was walking on the streets. I ordered the yakiniku set, attempting to indulge myself in food to keep my mind off stressful things. I stared out the window some more, attempting to calm my nerves by watching the people walk about. I thought of Naruto's face when I brought up college. I thought of my dad's face when he was consoling me, my parents' kind words telling me I had every reason to be upset.

"Sakura? You've been staring out the window for five minutes, and you haven't been listening to a word I said."

"Hm? Oh."

"Is something on your mind? You've been unusually quiet, actually."

"Yeah, a few things. But it's not anything worth worrying over."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just, what's going on in your life? Tell me about anything I've missed!"

Ino spent the rest of dinner talking about how her parents bought tickets for a vacation during the summer, and how she was excited because it meant she got to get away from her part time job. She went on to say that her parents were very proud of her for raising her GPA significantly, and how that would definitely help her when she was applying for colleges. Her grandmother had given her a gift for her birthday - a diamond necklace. Shikamaru, though I would've thought otherwise, was being very considerate of Ino's choices for college, saying that he'd visit her where she chose to go. I smiled at that, feeling glad that at least someone was happy about college.

"What about you, though, Sakura? Did you get any acceptance letters?"

"I did, actually," I said slowly, drawing out my words, cautiously coating them with feigned happiness.

"And...?" Ino probed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ino.. I can't go to college.."

The light in her eyes dissolved, and her beaming smile turned into a frown I only saw when something serious occurred.

"Sakura... what happened?"

I slowly told Ino the letter I received about my scholarship requests, and how they had all been denied. I told her about Naruto being offered to go to a college away from home, away from me, and I told her I felt like a selfish failure who never knew when to quit. I tried to contain my tears and my sadness by occasionally rubbing my temples, and allowing fake laughter to emit from me.

"We can offer you a part-time job, for now, Sakura. But that's completely up to you, if you want to work there. It's not a lot of money.. but if you just needed a way to get your mind off everything, I can talk to my parents!"

"Would that be okay?" I felt my heartbeat increase in its pacing, feeling as though I had come alive again.

"Anything for you, Sakura. Anything at all, to help you."

* * *

Ino and I strolled through the streets of the village, laughing at old memories we'd made together. I started to feel more reassured that everything really would be all right, thanks to the people that, without a doubt, loved me.

"Are you going home straight away?" Ino suddenly asks, her tone curious.

"Ah, no, I have to stop by Naruto's house to drop something off. Then I'll go home."

"What do you have to drop off?"

"Ino, I love you, but I'm not telling you what I'm dropping off."

"Ooh, is it his underwear?" she smirks.

"_Ino!_"

"As if you really are surprised by that statement." Ino began to stroll ahead of me, and I couldn't help but think: why _wouldn't _I be surprised by that statement?

"Hey -"

"Sakura."

I felt my blood turn cold at the voice behind me, all too familiar, all too smug. I knew that the second I turned around, my irritation at him would increase by tenfold. I hardly despised people, and I didn't waste my time holding grudges, but if I had to make someone suffer, it had to be him.

"What do you want?" I spat.

"Your mom told my mom the news."

I glared at him, my eyes probably filled with violent intent. Of all people, I didn't want Sasuke to know the awful news that hit me this evening. His dark eyes were full of smugness, as they examined me. It was one thing that my mom told Sasuke's mom the awful news, but it was also another issue that _he_ knew before Naruto did. It made me angry.

"Yeah, well. It has nothing to do with you, so please, just leave me alone."

"Why?"

"Are you seriously asking me why you have to leave me alone? Need I _remind_ you what you did to me, and how that ruined absolutely everything?"

"Sakura, I just wanted to talk."

"Why would you wanna talk about anything?" I looked around for Ino, and panicked when I saw that she was no longer in sight.

Sasuke brought his face closer, so that he was only a few inches away from me. I flinched at his close contact, and felt my blood boil.

"Come on, I just need to talk to you."

"How can I know you're actually being serious about wanting to talk to me?"

"Because it's about Naruto."

"You are so - wait. What?"

I stared at Sasuke's face, not wanting to believe that he had no mal intent in trying to get me to talk to him. Though his smug face that I hated so much was in its usual state, his eyes were solemn, and I knew that he wasn't kidding. My only problem was the fact that he wanted to talk to _me_ about _Naruto_. What could he possibly have to say? Although we all used to be best friends, Sasuke never quite warmed up to Naruto after we broke up. I narrowed my eyes, still not wanting to trust him. When I saw that he didn't burst out laughing like he normally would, I sighed.

"Where do we go to talk?"

"I know just the place," he says, before turning around, gesturing to me to follow him.


	4. Chapter 4

_**hey guys, i had a feeling you guys didn't quite like the last chapter - and i apologize for that! it was like 3 in the morning and i really just wanted to finish it and it took me a while to just **__**write**__** it. but i've talked to a few tumblr friends - Valerie and Abby (dino-kitty and oldhokages) and they have given me some helpful advice. so i have more ideas for motives for all the characters :-) so hopefully it'll go a bit more smoothly. i hope you guys enjoy this chapter - it'll be a while before i can really think what i want to write, what with uni apps being due! this chapter is told from Naruto's POV, as i thought i'd take a break from all the tension with Sakura.- Kiki**_

Kakashi-sensei leafed through a magazine, quietly turning the pages. I looked back and forth, between him, and the acceptance letter I was holding in my hand. I groaned, running my fingers through my blond hair - which, by the way, needed some washing. I considered the options: this college was definitely a good option. Its program for intercultural studies had _exceptional_ praise for having Tsunade-sama, our president, as its notable alumni. Of course, it also had my dad, the ambassador, as a notable alumni, too. They honored him, even though he has now been long gone. I groaned again, feeling particularly frustrated at the fact that it was a great school with a great program, and yet, somehow, I still couldn't come to a decision.

"Kakashi-sensei, could you help me _out_ here? I have no idea what I'm doing!" I exclaim, attempting to toss the sheet of paper onto the coffee table (and failing).

"Naruto, I can give you all the advice you want. But, this is going to be your life, not mine. I can guide you, but -"

"_Then guide me._" I tightened my jaw.

"You already told me your reasoning for wanting to go to each college. I've listened. And I've told you to choose the one you feel most attached to."

"That doesn't _help_."

"Why not?"

"Because in the end, they're both great schools. And I want to leave, but at the same time -"

"You don't want to leave Sakura."

I froze, feeling my blood turn cold at the fact that Kakashi-sensei knew what was on my mind. I turned my face away from him, feeling slightly embarrassed. I felt his eyes on me, and though he was never one to be condescending, he did like to state the facts. Particularly when it came to my feelings about Sakura-chan.

"Naruto, you have to realize -"

"That she may be the girl I am in love with, but how I feel about her shouldn't affect the choices I make. Especially the choices I make now."

"Right. But also -"

"Even if I choose to leave town, I can always come back and see her. I can always come back. And tell her how I feel. I can always come home," I say quietly, feeling slightly depressed.I didn't dare look at Kakashi-sensei, because I knew that he'd see all the feeling on my face and feel pity. He never usually felt pity for me, since he's known me for so long, but, I still didn't want to risk the chance of him showing it.

"See, you know what you need to do. Why don't you use that to come to a decision?"

I didn't answer. Kakashi-sensei was right, and I knew he was right. I'd been wanting to travel ever since my parents had their jobs. They flew everywhere, bringing me gifts, sending me postcards, buying foreign foods they thought I would like. They always took photos that I would obsessively leaf through each time they were gone. It served as a kind of haven - a _thing_ that made me feel closer to my parents who were always travelling.

They were coming home to me when they died.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll do that," I say solemnly, slowly standing up. Kakashi-sensei watched me, and almost opened his moth to say something. Upon seeing my haggard expression, he closed his lips instead, and smiled.

"Naruto.. are you choosing this path because I think you are?"

I looked Kakashi-sensei in the face, seeing his gentle and firm demeanor. More than anything, I knew that he wanted what was best for me, even if it meant I had to leave certain things behind. Even so, there were just some things (or people, rather) that I simply couldn't abandon. It didn't matter that some people may think I am being ridiculous. There was always some amount of ridicule when it came to choices like these.

Even if it meant putting another dream on hold.

"You know me well," I answer.

I walk out of Kakashi-sensei's office without waiting for an answer. Knowing him, he'd tell me I was being unhealthy, and that I needed to do what I wanted to do. Or, if the world allowed for such a twist, he would shut up about it, and tell me 'as long as it makes you happy.'

I walked along the bank of the almost-frozen river, kicking rocks in front of me. After talking with Kakashi-sensei, I had realized how hungry I was. Ramen always comforted me whenever I needed it, but all the stores I went to on days like this were closed. _What great timing_, I thought. I sighed, looking around different corners, taking different routes - to find anything that could possibly warm me up. My mouth watered at a convenience store that sold instant ramen on display. I power-walked towards the store, reaching deep into my pockets for money that would aid me in getting my favorite food.

I stopped cold when I saw a teenage boy with black, spiky hair standing in front of the shop, checking his phone.

"Sasuke!" I screamed without thinking, lifting my arm to wave.

The pale face I knew so well looked up from his phone at the calling of his name. He scowled, scrunching his nose, as though he smelt something foul.

"What're you doing here, loser?" he asks.

"I wanted to get some ramen," I blink as I walk closer to him.

"Why did I even ask?"

"Because you wanted to know. But you should've anyway - why else do I go to convenient stores like this one?"

Sasuke grunted, rolling his eyes. His finger taps his phone, as though trying to give a signal to his phone to send a phone call right about now. _Typical Sasuke, avoiding people_, I thought. After Sakura-chan and him broke up, Sasuke suddenly became much nicer to me. He said hello eery now and then, which obviously left me very confused. I didn't question it, though.

It was good to have my other best friend talk to me again.

"Why are you buying ramen here anyway? You know it's plain."

"I just want ramen. I don't care," I laugh.

Sasuke opens his mouth to answer when lightning cracks across the sky and is followed uncomfortably close by a roll of thunder that echoed before pettering into silence. Rain fell in gobs from the sky until small oceans of it flooded the street."

"Fuck," I curse. "Do you have an umbrella?"

"No. If I did, I wouldn't share it with you."

"You fuc -"

"Let's go inside that restaurant."

Sasuke ran, his clothes quickly becoming soaked with water, sticking to his skin. I followed suit, my stomach growling louder than it had earlier today.

It was a full house. All the customers inside were sitting out the rain, by taking shelter in this very restaurant that we walked into. I was amazed at the amount of people who were laughing and smiling, while it was a thunderstorm outside. I looked around to look for anyone I knew - perhaps Sakura-chan. All the people inside were just adults in their mid-30s. I vaguely wondered if Kakashi-sensei was here, by some odd chance.

I turned my head to see Sasuke settling down in a booth near the window, where it was slightly more secluded. Isolated from everyone else, too. I sauntered over to him, not wanting to seem too eager that I got to talk to him. He eyed the menu, trying to decide what he wanted. I watched his brow furrow together, and wanted to laugh. The last time I saw him that concentrated was when he didn't understand the timeline of Western history. I gloated that day. It was the first time I felt better than Sasuke.

I sat down across from him, looking at the menu in front of me. My mouth watered as I stared at the different images of plates and bowls of food. I had never felt hungrier than in that moment. I greedily gulped as I looked at the selection of ramen and udon, as well as sushi. I grinned, wiping my mouth to make sure I wasn't drooling.

I glanced at Sasuke, and he was as engrossed as ever in his menu. I wanted to chuckle at his face, he had never looked so focused on _food_. That was usually my job, back when we were friends. I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if he didn't remember. He did, after all, completely block me out of his life after he started dating Sakura-chan. That, of course, was around the time my feelings were the strongest. I looked at the person across from me - my best friend - and I felt a sense of dread creep up on me.

It was eleven at night. I was brushing my teeth hard enough that my gums could bleed. I scrubbed in between my teeth, hoping to get the excess meat out. The mint of my toothpaste enveloped my tongue, and I felt my nose tickle.

_Crap_, I thought. I quickly spat out the toothpaste into the sink, rinsing my mouth with water. I knew it was coming – it always happened whenever I brushed my teeth. It was absolutely unavoidable. My body shook, as mucus from my nose was shot out from my nose. _Damn sensitive tongue_.

I washed my nose with water, attempting to get the sinuses to go back to normal. Ever since I was a kid, I had problems with my sinuses. It was one of the things people didn't really know about. No one was _born_ with sinuses like mine – I was just really sensitive. It didn't stop me from the fact that I simply didn't want people to know it.

I plopped down onto the couch of my TV room, and sighed. I turned my gaze towards my cell phone on the coffee table in front of me. I smiled softly, remembering that Sakura-chan had insisted I let her come with me to pick out a phone. I didn't think it was that big a deal, but she certainly did. I chuckled, picking it up. I touched the corners briefly, before flipping it open.

A photo of Sakura-chan leaning against my shoulder appeared, her face bright like sunshine. She was laughing. I remembered it well. I felt my heart thump. I closed the phone lid, but not before lingering on her face for a few more seconds. I had been in love with Sakura-chan for a while now, and it didn't diminish with each day that passed by. I sighed, leaning my head against the back of the couch.

Sakura-chan's smile always made me feel better. Her gentle and driven aura made me feel like gravity was pulling me towards her. It was unfair, too. Whenever she hugged me, I would always get a whiff of her pink hair: strawberry-scented, and in my face. I always had to restrain myself from holding onto her too tightly, which never failed to make it easier when she pulled away. Her hugs were never lingering.

That was how I knew she didn't love me the way I loved her.

My eyes fluttered closed, and it felt as though I had been sleeping for six years before a quiet knock came on the door. I thought I was dreaming, so I merely rubbed my eyes, and was ready to drag myself to the bedroom.

The second knock was louder now, more urgent.

I sighed, walking slowly towards the door. It was probably a delivery to the wrong address. These things tend to happen, and I prepared myself for the very confused deliveryman that comes only in the middle of the night. In other words, the pizza deliveryman probably just got the address wrong. I took a breath, and opened the door. My mouth was half formed into a circle, ready to pronounce words. The person that stood in front of me, however, was not the deliveryman.

His black bangs fell upon his forehead, his eyes grave. He stood in front of me, his lips in a tight line. His body was stiff, and it wasn't just because he wasn't moving. I attempted to open my mouth to say something, but failed. The expression his face wore was one I saw when his own parents passed away.

"Naruto." Sasuke says coolly, as every emotion present in his eyes just seconds ago disappear.

"Hey, uh. What're you doing here so late at night?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

Huh?

"Okay, uh. Sure. Come on in."

"There's no need."

Sasuke's eyes bore through me, and I felt uneasiness in my stomach. It was churning, threatening to jump into my throat.

"What's up?" I ask cautiously.

Sasuke's eyes harden at my question, his expression almost angry. If I didn't know him well, I would've known for sure it was anger. Sasuke was more complex than that, however. The feeling that was written on his face was more like sadness, than anything else.

"I think it's best for you if you keep your distance from Sakura."

I blinked. My eyelids blinked a few more times, trying to process the words that had just been uttered. _Keep... my distance… from Sakura-chan_? I thought quietly, the voice in my head in disbelief. Vulnerable, even.

"What…?"

"She didn't want to hurt your feelings," Sasuke replies simply, averting his gaze to the floor. "But you need to know this."

I wait for Sasuke to say more, the hairs on the ends of my neck sticking up. I felt my stomach churn even more, the uneasiness becoming a violent fire of paranoia.

"Sakura and I are dating now."

I felt my breath catch in my throat, and Sasuke's eyes made my heart feel as though it stopped pumping blood through my veins. I stared at him, feeling my stomach drop fifty feet below us. There was a pain in my chest that, no matter how hard I willed it to, would not stop. I was in pain. I was upset. I was _more_ than upset, to be frank.

I was _heartbroken_.

"What are you talking about?" I say grimly, avoiding Sasuke's eyes.

"She didn't want you to feel upset, Naruto."

"Again, _what_ are you talking about?" I say, harsher now.

Sasuke's face is complacent; betraying no emotion. There is a hint of something else in the way his lips twitch. _Is he smiling?_

"She knows you're in love with her, Naruto."

My eyes widened, and I felt every piece of my broken self become even more fractured at the reality that had (quite literally) shown up at my front door. I stared at Sasuke's face, trying hard not to convey the fear on my face.

It was one thing that Sakura-chan and Sasuke were now dating. It was a completely different thing that she knew I was in love with her. I had _not_ intended for her to find out, _particularly_ because she was now dating Sasuke.

"How long?" I asked quietly.

"How long what?"

"How long has she _known_, Sasuke?"

He was silent, and the prick of a thousand needles poked at my heart. I couldn't breathe.

"Who knows?" he sighs. "That's all I want to tell you. Take my advice, Naruto. Seriously. She's trying to spare your feelings, so don't go asking her questions," he says as he turns around to leave. I watch him walk down the stairs and disappear into the night.

I close the door quietly, feeling as though I was carrying the weight of my heart on my ankles. A prisoner; that's what I seemed to be. I drudged towards the couch, turning on the television. It was a late-night rerun of an old game show. Probably one of the classic episodes. I sat on the arm of the couch, not paying attention to the screen. I felt my heart rip itself apart from the inside, and the torn pieces spread themselves around in my bloodstream. They found their way to my jaw, and I gritted my teeth.

It was the only part of me that would stay together if I forced it.

My memories ran through my head as I watched Sasuke being picky over his order. I rolled my eyes as he requested 'no tartar sauce, no onions, extra lettuce, no tomato, only two pinches of salt, and just a smidge of black pepper.' The waitress looked as though she was about to have a mental breakdown; Sasuke wasn't exactly the nicest customer to have, even when he was simply ordering his food.

"Dude, what are you even ordering?" I say thickly.

"A veggie burger."

I stare at him in disbelief, trying, with all my might, to not laugh at him. I failed, however, when his eyes turned up to look at me. Large guffaws spread in my stomach.

"What?!" He asks, clearly offended.

"You never change," I say, wiping a tear away from my eye. Sasuke didn't answer. He rolled his eyes, however. He sighed when he looked out the window, clearly still disappointed and even a little bit annoyed that it was still raining heavily outside. I wondered vaguely how he and I became friends again, particularly after what he did to Sakura-chan.

To be honest, I didn't mind that he _dated_ her, even though it ruined me. I was furious when I heard wind. Sasuke knew this. He kept _his_ distance away from me. That didn't change the fact that I punched him in the face the next chance I got to. His eyes looked at me in anger, but when I told him I knew what he did to Sakura-chan, his face relaxed and the purest form of regret appeared on his face.

I still didn't understand how I moved past that, more easily than I thought I would.

"I need to ask you something," Sasuke says, his sudden question seemingly louder than the other customers in the restaurant.

"Sure, shoot."

"You gotta tell the truth."

"When do I lie?"

Sasuke nodded, as though silently agreeing with me. He was still for a few more moments before he looked out the window again. His eyes were soft; as though he was thinking about something of sentimental value.

"Do you still love her?" he whispers, almost inaudible.

I feel my heart jump and shoulders tense at the accusation, but the fear doesn't last long. My inhibitions break down, and in relief my posture slackens. This doesn't make me feel weak; it strengthens my resolve. Of course I loved Sakura. Of course.

"I'll always love her," I answer with a smile upon my face. Sasuke nodded, a light of satisfaction in his eyes that seemed to utter the words "Good thing, too."

"We never went to this restaurant. Got it?" Sasuke says as we walk out of the restaurant.

"You're kind of contradicting yourself. We just came out of the restaurant _together_, dumbass."

"But no one we knew saw us. So we keep it a secret."

"What's the big deal?"

"I just don't want to be seen around you."

I roll my eyes. _He really hasn't changed_.

"So you really do love her still, huh?"

"I do. You can be sure of it," I reply without hesitation.

Sasuke nods, and the expression on his face is very different from the satisfaction I saw just a moment ago. He rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. He always looked like a tired old man, to me.

"Thanks, man."

I blink. "For what?"

"For not holding it against me."

"But you know I did."

"But you don't anymore."

"That's because," I sigh. "When it comes down to it, you're my best friend, too."

Sasuke smirked, turning back into his old self. The feeling didn't touch his eyes, however. It made me uneasy to think that Sasuke knew something that I didn't. Perhaps it was nothing. Maybe it was the fact that he had had a meal with me, and he didn't want to be seen with me. He hung out with different people now, after all.

"Guess I'll see you later, then," he says, turning the opposite direction.

I nod. "Yeah, see you later, Sasuke."

I watch him walk off towards the crowd of people in the streets. I sigh. The townspeople are all either buying food for their families, or were simply window-shopping. I eyed the takoyaki being sold near one of my favorite stalls, and I willingly inhaled the scent. My stomach growled, although it wasn't that long ago that I had eaten a whole meal. I groan.

"Naruto."

I turn around at the familiar deep voice. The man who is always leafing through the same novel stands before me, his face content. He's wearing what he wore earlier, but this time, his scarf was wrapped snuggly around his neck. It always appalled me that we had disgusting weather – one moment, it would rain, and in the next, it would be windy as hell.

"Kakashi-sensei, are you done with work?"

"Yeah, buying dinner now. What are you doing here?"

"Ah, just had some dinner as well," I say, deciding not to tell him I spent the last hour with Sasuke. I display my most polite smile.

"That's good. Why don't we go have some takoyaki?"

I stare at him, cocking an eyebrow.

"Did you choose not to hear me when I said I already ate?"

"Humor your sensei. Come on, let's go grab some. I saw you eyeing the stall." I laugh, and for once in a long time, I felt absolutely free of my worries. I walk with Kakashi-sensei to the stall, and he orders four sets of takoyaki, which, despite the sounds of it, is actually a very small portion. This is probably how he stays healthy – eating very little numerous times a day.

We were strolling through the town, through the people, eating our food. It was a nice evening, even after all that rain. Kakashi-sensei told me about jokes he'd heard in the teachers' room, and I laughed, despite the fact that half the time, I didn't get it. I told him old jokes my parents told me, and he smirked – his way of appreciating humor. We exchanged embarrassing stories involving alcohol, victorious stories involving our sportsmanship, and he told me about the woman he once knew.

"What happened to her?" I ask, eating my last takoyaki.

"She died."

I stayed silent.

"You don't have to feel bad, though. She was sick for a long time," he says solemnly.

"Do you love her?"

Kakashi-sensei paused, the expression on his face nonexistent. He merely looked as though he was considering the question as though it were a math question.

"I always will," he answers finally, a hint of a smile lighting up his eyes.

I nod.

"What about you?"

"What _about_ me?"

"Have you talked to Sakura?"

I feel my heart drop, and want to avoid the question. Knowing him, though, there was no possible way I could.

"I haven't even seen her today."

"Did you try to?"

I didn't answer, looking at my feet.

"Well. You know that it's your decision. At least that's fair enough."

I thought about his words, how even when we don't want to, we can't put our dreams on hold for someone else. This was different, though. I could always travel in the future. I could get a job that involved traveling around the world after I finish college. It wasn't a big deal to me. The most important thing to me right now was staying with Sakura-chan. Even if it would take a while, I will tell Sakura-chan how I truly feel. It was only fair.

"Actually, Kakashi-sensei. I already _have_ made my decision."

"Hmm? Have you?"

"Yes." I look at him with conviction, a new fire roaring inside me. It wouldn't be put out so easily by a teacher's advice, too.

Kakashi-sensei smirks, obviously knowing that he had no power over the decision I had just made. He pats me on the back, and I feel more supported than I felt in the last few months.

"As long as it makes you happy."


End file.
